Hiding in the Shadows

Well I'm taking chunks out of that next milestone in my life - the one where I climb into a large hunk of metal on wheels, and roam round the streets terrorising little old ladies on pavements, and making business men in their expensive Mercs scream like little girls.

Oh yes people, I, am taking driving lessons. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

So I had the first lesson on Monday, with an old-ish grey haired guy, who was very softly spoken and actually had a sense of humour. Although visions of crashing into trees and down embankments filled my mind, I did so much better than I thought I would, and I actually enjoyed it. Not just enjoyed it, but I fucking loved it!! For so long I've been scared about driving. Not just nervous, but actually terrified. It's part of the reason I've put it off for so long. But a few months ago I sent off for a free lesson with the AA driving school. I'd totally forgotten about it until they called me last week to arrange it. Now I've started, I don't want to stop. I don't want to pass my test and then leave it 6-12 months before getting a car, I want to pass my test and get my own straight away. I can see my freedom in front of me, it's so close I can smell it. Just a few hours of lessons and a couple of little tests, and that'll be it!! It's so exciting!!

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Oh, and a side note from the driving happiness, me and J are great. We're more than great. I love him more than I couple ever have thought possible, and it feels so good to be in a relationship that gives me this kind of a high so much of the time. I won't bore you with it too much, but to say things between us are fantastically good, would be the understatement of the century.

	This is my space to air my demons, where no-one knows my name. Here I sit, quietly, hiding from the world.
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~*~

I hide beneath the black clouds of my broken soul, The soul that holds the love that is left, And the clouds that hold the life we could have lived. A twisted love runs deeper than the blood in my veins. But the past still exists, so please dont try to walk away. My broken soul is all you can see, and the black clouds will always be here. As I stare at my reflection through shattered glass, I take a look into our past. Will you ever realize how I feel? Our past can never be forgotton. Im still beneath the black clouds, Hiding from my misery. The love is still there, but the life has dissapeared. Do you understand what im trying to say to you now? If I told you I love you, I meant it with every breathe. If say I need you, I tell the truth. The black clouds are full of my pain, and my broken soul is all that I have left. So I will stare at my reflection through this shattered glass, and hide beneath the black clouds of my broken soul, The love still exists, and I wonder, What happened to the dream that we both could be living... ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~*~
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