Hiding in the Shadows
No-one knows I'm here...
Friday, October 26, 2012


The latest news before I go to bed - to be expanded on tomorrow. I'd do it now, but it's late, and I want to get into town early-ish to make sure I get good parking.. :

  • I'm still single and man-less. And I've decided I like it that way. 
  • My trip to town in the morning may involve another piercing. My 15th... 
  • I'm pretty sure I've decided I want to move house. Somewhere down south. Somewhere I can have a completely fresh start. New people, new places, new memories - and none of the old ones. 
  • Having lost just over a a stone and a half since last Xmas, I now have a choice of four/five dresses to wear to our works Xmas do. Much better. Much happier. Starting to actually feel a bit sexy again.
  • I need a better form of spider-removal/prevention. Two huge spiders in the space of a couple of days has been almost too much to handle. And I'm not getting used to it. 

Friday, October 19, 2012

The right decision, for a change

The short version - I finished with Mr I-Thought-He-Could-Have-Been-Perfect. I had had enough of the slight rudeness, the arrogance, and the, well, shortness... I felt he was getting more attached, and I was getting less, I dunno... interested. So anyways, I sent him a text Monday afternoon, asking if I could go over after work. I never go over there, I guess that's why he immediately asked what was wrong. Well I couldn't tell him what I needed to on a text message, so I just said I needed to see him. Next thing I know, he's saying he reckons he knows what I have to say. Then asks me outright if I'm going to break up with him... So I tell him I'm sorry, but yes... Then I get told not to bother going round, as there's nothing I can say that he wants to hear. I've not had a reply since. Despite asking if he wants me to drop off the stuff that he left at his. Even offered to drop it round his parents if he didn't want to actually see me.
Childish jerk hasn't even got the decency to reply.

Ah well, back to the drawing board.

On the plus side though, I've seen some new pics of Fraz, and he looks, well, fucking stupid springs to mind. He's grown his hair and his silly goatee out (it's not even a thick beard, just looks like super long animal pubes...). I know, it sounds like I'm deliberately being bitchy as some form of denial because I'm still desperately in love with him. Thing is, I've suddenly realised I'm not. And I never used to really fancy him in a 'omghe'ssohot' kind of way, but now I see him and think 'ew'. It's good - it's helped me to get over him more in the past week than anything over the past 8 months has... I even just saw him on POF just now (no idea how, I blocked him so he didn't come up in my searches/etc), and I was suprised, but there was no heart-wrenching sick feeling like there was before when I saw him. Sure I'm still sad that we had something good and it was poisoned, but I don't miss it. I think I've finally found my peace. There's still a bit of work that needs doing, but it's there. It feels good.

In other news, I never did go for that drive into the Dales. Partly because I needed the weekend away from Mr Not-Perfect, and mostly because as a 200mile round trip, I simply couldn't afford the petrol. Gutted that I missed out. Just bought new tyres though, so at least that's one expense sorted out. Just need to save up for the back pair doing. Although they're not as bad as the fronts were, so I can get through the winter on them at least.

Next issue, what the fuck to do for Christmas.... I'm single, so no boyfriends parents to go to. My mum lives in Greece, and no chance of getting there. And I have no other family. I don't even have any friends that I'm close enough to that I'd be happy gatecrashing in on theirs (or that would ask me in the first place). So, Christmas alone with my gerbils it is then...
Now there's something to get truly depressed about...

Monday, October 08, 2012

Dara and more see-saw

So I had a pretty awesome weekend. Me and Mr Maybe-Perfect went down to Sheffield to see Dara O'Briain. I've never been to any kind of live gig before ever, and Dara is totally my all-time favourite comedian, so Mr M-P bought us tickets a few weeks back. It was fab. I love Dara more now than I did before (no, not in some weird stalker-type way). Definately want to see him again. And Mr M-P? Yeah, I still definately want to keep seeing him too. He's lovely. How could I not want to keep on seeing him? Sure I have niggles. But that's all they are, little niggles. I'm sure he has little niggles too. As long as the little niggles don't turn into great big lumbering problems, it's all good.
So we went out for lunch on Sunday with his mate Dave (everyone really does have a 'Dave' in their life don't they?!), just to a local pub, but it was great. He paid, again, which, again, made me feel slightly uneasy because I like to pay my way and not ever seem like I'm taking advantage, but at the same time, really happy that he's such a gent. I know they're rare to come by. Another reason why I don't want to give him up just yet. Plus, it's only been a month. Surely I need to give this more time to see where it can go before making a rash decision. I will not let my fear of getting hurt again decide my furture. If I do, I'm letting that lying scottish wanker win, again. Fuck that. 

So no other plans for this week, other than a drive up into the Dales on Sunday. Yes it's the Korean GP on Sunday, but it's on from 6am til 9:45, so I'm hoping I can get that in before even leaving the house. Be nice to just drive out somewhere nice for the hell of it. There's about 10 of us going (Mr M-P included), so it should be fun. Just hope the weather isn't its usual self and decides to piss down all day. That won't make it much fun. Especially as I badly need new front tyres, and won't be getting them replaced for another week or so. I know to be careful though. And if it rains that badly, I'll be a typical girl and not go cos I don't like getting wet... If it's nice though, I'll make sure to get some pics. Apparently there's some awesome views round there. Don't worry, I'll share.