Aw bugger...

Well didn't I get a shock when I got home last night... J asked me outright if I'd been in his emails... I said no, but I knew I wasn't convincing anyone. Even when he asked if I'd set up a profile on AFF, I stupidly said no again. I was racking my brain trying to work out how he knew. Apparently he'd looked on the pop-up blocker on the laptop, and found my blogsite. Seems he's read all of it... That in itself scares me, cos I know when we first got together and when he was smoking that I'd had doubts about us being together. I just hope he knows that I do love him with all my heart, and if I had decided that we wern't meant to be, that I'dve ended it.
So having realised it was pointless denying playing detective, I admitted what I'd done. The profile I'd set up, and the reasons for doing it. Although he said he was a bit pissed off about me going through his emails, he didn't seem angry about the whole profile thing and the messages sent from my fake profile. So we talked it through and sorted it all out. He still said he didn't join the site in the first place, and I do believe him. He looked at me with that same truth in his eyes that I see when he tells me he loves me, and told me he'd never do that to me. That this relationship means more to him than anything, and he wasn't going to risk that. I can't believe, that even for a second, that I doubted him. I trust him more than I've ever trusted anyone. I just wish I'dve said something to him, instead of sneaking around making up fake profiles to catch him. I'm just glad it's all sorted now, and there's no atmosphere or bad feeling between us. And yes, I've learnt my lesson about looking through things that don't belong to me...