Moving on...

Well I went to Scotland with the OH. Partly 'cos I felt deserved a holiday, and with my passport running out in March, and no money to afford a 'proper' holiday abroad, why should I give up my chance of getting away from home for a while. If I didn't go, I'd be sat at home, alone, miserable, and stressing over what to do when/if he came back.
So anyway, we went, and actually had a really nice time. We walked round forests, strolled along beaches, visited towns, even went to a Safari Park place and visited Loch Ness. Was more fresh air and excercise than I've had in months years, and it was fabulous. Even the bike ride we had (which was not a plesant experience due to it being a blokes mountain-bike) was tiring, but it was so good to get out cycling places. I wish so much that I could do all that here. Or better still, I could afford to move up there.
So what about me and the OH? I dunno. I do like having him round - he makes me smile, and puts up with my mood swings and tantrums. Not many people have ever been able to do that. But when I think about 'us' as in marriage, kids etc (like, years down the line mind!) I just can't see it. He's not mature enough to look after himself, let alone if (major big IF) we ever had kids. And marriage? Still not even sure I'm that bothered really. I mean, it's just a ring and some paper right? It's never stopped people lying to each other - will never instantly right all the wrongs that have happened and make people perfect. So really, it's pointless. Or maybe I just think that because I haven't found 'the one' yet. Maybe when you meet the 'right' person, you want nothing more than to settle down, get married, kave kids, grow old together. So am I trying to tell myself something because I don't want all that with Boi? I dunno. Maybe just my head over-think stuff as per usual.

Finally met up with Marky and his OH the other week. Not seen him for a good couple of years, despite staying in contact. They've now got a baby (which in my opinion was stupid, as they've only been together a couple of years, and, as seems tradition now, it wasn't planned). Now I'm not the kind of girl that's goes all gooey over babies. They all look the same, and most of them are butt-ugly (but of course you'd never actually say that). But Miia (yes that's right 2x 'i's') is actully a real cutie. Was kinda weird, cos it brought back lots of memories and stuff. Not that Boi ever thought to see if I was ok when I got back. His thought process wouldn't have gone that far. Or even started actually...

Also found out today one of my ex's just got engaged. Am happy for him, cos after the way I treated him when we were together, he deserves someone that makes him happy. Still, hurts a bit that I keep seeing ex's are now engaged/married/moved in with kids etc etc, and I'm still trying to find that person. Maybe I'm with him already, and just can't see it. But still, why can't I just be as happy as they all seem to be?

I think if I ever decide that me and Boi arn't right together, I might go live with my Mum in Greece. Sure I don't know the language, but I can go be a tour guide or something. Waitress on an evening. I dunno. Sure it's too hot there for me in the summer, but that's only cos I'm fat, and can't wear teeny stuff to keep cool. I need to make some kind of massive change in my life though. Cos how things are at the moment, it's shit. And now I'm getting pissed off with myself for keep on complaining about it. Maybe I'll get whisked off my feet by some yummy Greek, and we'll have a nice greek house in the hills, overlooking the beach... hah, yeah right. Good stuff like that never happens to me. Ah well, least I have a planB if things don't work out here...