Hiding in the Shadows
No-one knows I'm here...
Monday, June 16, 2008

Fucking Video...

So I tried the vid again today. Within 10 minutes of starting it, I had collapsed in a flood of tears. Watching the dancing girls in the background, all gorgeous, super-fit and energetic, it just made me so depressed. I want to look like that so badly. And yeah, I know that if I kept on with the vid, and eating correctly, then it could be possible. But it's so fucking hard. I don't even have the energy to keep up with them. Watching them should give me motivation to see what I could achieve, but instead it's making me more upset and depressed cos I know just how much work I need to do to get there.
Another thing that's got me down, is I weighed myself this morning - I've put on weight, not lost any. So it's only a pound or so, but still. Not what I want to see. I did one of those BMI calculator things as well - it's official. I'm overweight. Fucking wonderful.

So, as I mentioned last time, I'm getting those tablet things that 'bind' themselves to fat so it's not absorbed. I can but try, right??

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