Hiding in the Shadows
No-one knows I'm here...
Friday, October 19, 2012

The right decision, for a change

The short version - I finished with Mr I-Thought-He-Could-Have-Been-Perfect. I had had enough of the slight rudeness, the arrogance, and the, well, shortness... I felt he was getting more attached, and I was getting less, I dunno... interested. So anyways, I sent him a text Monday afternoon, asking if I could go over after work. I never go over there, I guess that's why he immediately asked what was wrong. Well I couldn't tell him what I needed to on a text message, so I just said I needed to see him. Next thing I know, he's saying he reckons he knows what I have to say. Then asks me outright if I'm going to break up with him... So I tell him I'm sorry, but yes... Then I get told not to bother going round, as there's nothing I can say that he wants to hear. I've not had a reply since. Despite asking if he wants me to drop off the stuff that he left at his. Even offered to drop it round his parents if he didn't want to actually see me.
Childish jerk hasn't even got the decency to reply.

Ah well, back to the drawing board.

On the plus side though, I've seen some new pics of Fraz, and he looks, well, fucking stupid springs to mind. He's grown his hair and his silly goatee out (it's not even a thick beard, just looks like super long animal pubes...). I know, it sounds like I'm deliberately being bitchy as some form of denial because I'm still desperately in love with him. Thing is, I've suddenly realised I'm not. And I never used to really fancy him in a 'omghe'ssohot' kind of way, but now I see him and think 'ew'. It's good - it's helped me to get over him more in the past week than anything over the past 8 months has... I even just saw him on POF just now (no idea how, I blocked him so he didn't come up in my searches/etc), and I was suprised, but there was no heart-wrenching sick feeling like there was before when I saw him. Sure I'm still sad that we had something good and it was poisoned, but I don't miss it. I think I've finally found my peace. There's still a bit of work that needs doing, but it's there. It feels good.

In other news, I never did go for that drive into the Dales. Partly because I needed the weekend away from Mr Not-Perfect, and mostly because as a 200mile round trip, I simply couldn't afford the petrol. Gutted that I missed out. Just bought new tyres though, so at least that's one expense sorted out. Just need to save up for the back pair doing. Although they're not as bad as the fronts were, so I can get through the winter on them at least.

Next issue, what the fuck to do for Christmas.... I'm single, so no boyfriends parents to go to. My mum lives in Greece, and no chance of getting there. And I have no other family. I don't even have any friends that I'm close enough to that I'd be happy gatecrashing in on theirs (or that would ask me in the first place). So, Christmas alone with my gerbils it is then...
Now there's something to get truly depressed about...


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