Hiding in the Shadows

That's it, I've done all I can. I simply cannot make it any clearer. Now it's up to him.

If things carry on as they are though, I'm really going to start dreading November coming round...

At least I have some time to get used to the idea of being single I guess. Be prepared for the heartache, the lonliness, the head-spinning thoughts wondering if I've done the right thing. It has to be better than the constant daily head-spinning continually wondering if I'm good enough. If I actually mean anything to him. If what we have is worth him putting any effort in what-so-ever...

If it was me who screwed up (twice...), I'd be doing everything and anything possible to prove I could/would change. That our relationship is the best thing that'd ever happened to me. That there was no-one else in the world I would ever want. I certainly wouldn't be trying to just forget it like it never happened. How could I when I'd know how much I'd hurt the one person I love more than anything. Knowing I'd caused that would be tearing me up.

I'm hoping it's just a case of different people deal with things in different ways. I'm hoping he listened to me last night. That the words he said wern't just empty noises. I hope, oh I hope so terribly badly that I'm presuming the worst but I'm proved so wrong...

But now it's up to him...

	This is my space to air my demons, where no-one knows my name. Here I sit, quietly, hiding from the world.
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~*~

I hide beneath the black clouds of my broken soul, The soul that holds the love that is left, And the clouds that hold the life we could have lived. A twisted love runs deeper than the blood in my veins. But the past still exists, so please dont try to walk away. My broken soul is all you can see, and the black clouds will always be here. As I stare at my reflection through shattered glass, I take a look into our past. Will you ever realize how I feel? Our past can never be forgotton. Im still beneath the black clouds, Hiding from my misery. The love is still there, but the life has dissapeared. Do you understand what im trying to say to you now? If I told you I love you, I meant it with every breathe. If say I need you, I tell the truth. The black clouds are full of my pain, and my broken soul is all that I have left. So I will stare at my reflection through this shattered glass, and hide beneath the black clouds of my broken soul, The love still exists, and I wonder, What happened to the dream that we both could be living... ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~*~
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	Note to self: No-body Knows It But Me... (edited) Lie Another Day... Admiration optional... Did you learn...? Last Chance... Light and dark How do you get an answer to a question you don't w... Fucked up, for a change... Long time gone... Part II
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