Hiding in the Shadows
No-one knows I'm here...
Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Reassurance requested...

Are you going to tell me what was going on with you last night, or are you keeping to the story that you were tired, and just in a weird mood? I may just be being paranoid, but I can't help thinking that there was so much more to it than you were telling me.

I asked if 'we' were ok, or if I had done something wrong. You told me that is was neither of these, and you were ok. If that really was the case, then it might've helped to be a little more convincing.

Whilst you went to bed early, I was sat on the sofa crying. Wondering what was going on in your head. Wondering if you were having second thoughts about 'us'. Also kicking myself for being so paranoid over the littlest thing, as I'm sure acting like that won't make things much better.... So, I slept on the sofa. Was quite comfy actually, but I shouldn't have been there. I should've been curled up beside you like every other night.

This morning when you left for work, you wern't even going to say goodbye if I hadn't of spoken to you first. Even then you wern't in a better mood at all. Still quiet and distant. Again, you told me you loved me, and that 'we' were ok. But again, I questioned it in my mind. Still I wonder if things really are ok. As you left, there was nothing I could do to hold back the tears. I must've sobbed on the sofa for longer than I can remember.

So I'm in work now, still thinking the worst. Even wondering if I should finish with you first, as this is awful going on like this. I know it's partly my own fault for being so paranoid. But I need some reassurance. I need a convincing answer as to what is or isn't wrong. I don't want to keep asking you, but I don't know what else to do.
I do love you, and I love being with you so much. I'm just so scared I'm going to lose you already.

Please. Just talk to me. Put your arms around me and reassure me that you love me and still want to be with me. That's all I ask.
xxx

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