Hiding in the Shadows
No-one knows I'm here...
Wednesday, January 09, 2008

New year, new happiness?

Well it's 2008 at last. Ok, so it has been for the past 8 days, as I've not posted for a while. But anyway. I have this feeling, that this year may actually be a better year than the last 4/5/6. For a start, Xmas was better this year than it has been for as far as I can remember. Like last year, I worked Xmas day and Boxing day, but I was happy. I had J, which made Xmas that little bit easier to deal with. He's been 'living' with me for the past month or so. I say 'living', because he's not actually moved in, and still has his own flat, so maybe 'lodging' is a better phrase... Anyway, it's basically because his poxy one-room flat doesn't have any heating. Yep, you heard me - no heating AT ALL!! So, as it's winter, you can imagine just how cold it is in there. I hated him having to go back to his freezer-box, so said he could stay with me for the time being - seeing as I have a 2 bedroom house, with fully functioning central heating (seriously, my house is like a sauna sometimes lol). Yeah, I'm nice like that. I love having him there though. It's not just having some company, although it is nice. I'm an only child, and have lived on my own for almost a year now, and it really doesn't bother me. I just love having him around. I know where I stand with him aswell. Some relationships in the past, I've mentally been questioning if the guy I'm with really wants to be with me. Yeah, paranoia sucks big time. But with J, I know where I stand. I know that when he says he loves me, he means it. I know that when he looks at me in that way, smiling to himself, I know I'm the only girl he wants to be with. When he puts his arms round me, holding me tight, I know he doesn't want to let me go.
We've only been together for 2 months, and I know everything has gone a little fast, but it all feels so perfect. To be honest, I'm still not 100% sure if he's 'the one', but I think that's just my own insecurities and paranoia not letting me just let go and enjoy it, just incase I fall too deeply into this happiness, and get my heart broken again. I guess it's just time that can solve that.

So I start the year with a guy who loves me, with a great house of my own, and a job that I've held down for longer than any other in the past. Ok, so things arn't all perfect. My noisy neighbours drive me crazy, waking me up in the middle of the night, and my job can be quite tedious and mind-numbingly boring. But I'm actually happy with my life in general right now. And I haven't been able to say that for a long time. It actually feels like this year is going to work out alright for a change, without the previous years dramas of not having anywhere to live/falling out with my mum/messing up relationships/not having a job/money etc etc.

So, here's to 2008. I've got a good feeling about it, and it's wonderful.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]