Hiding in the Shadows

I don't quite know what's happened, but suddenly, I'm struggling to cope with things. I can't stand my job anymore. I've been thinking of leaving for a few months now, but it's always been more 'if something turns up...'. Now, it's more 'I need something else so I can get out of here...'. It's not just the job itself that's getting to me, it's the awful shift patterns, meaning I don't see J at all through the week. When I've been at work all day, and we've been extra busy because we're understaffed, all I want is to see him, get a cuddle, and talk about nonsence. But if I'm on late shifts, he's usually in bed when I get home. If I'm on earlies, he doesn't get home til late, by which time I have to go to bed early. It's horrible. Especially as things are so good between us.
I just want to be somewhere 9-5. Would make things so much easier. Problem is, that any other customer service roles don't pay as much as here, due to our shift allowance. I'd choose another job, something not cust.service, but this is all I've ever done, and I believe I'm damn good at it. I've had enough though. I don't want to be dealing with customers anymore. I want something different. Just wish I knew what the something was, and how to get it.
Right now I feel like curling up and balling my eyes out. It's taking me all my effort not to walk out of work right now, but I know that'd be a really stupid thing to do. Grin and bear it for now, and search like hell for another job. That's all I can do...

	This is my space to air my demons, where no-one knows my name. Here I sit, quietly, hiding from the world.
~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~*~

I hide beneath the black clouds of my broken soul, The soul that holds the love that is left, And the clouds that hold the life we could have lived. A twisted love runs deeper than the blood in my veins. But the past still exists, so please dont try to walk away. My broken soul is all you can see, and the black clouds will always be here. As I stare at my reflection through shattered glass, I take a look into our past. Will you ever realize how I feel? Our past can never be forgotton. Im still beneath the black clouds, Hiding from my misery. The love is still there, but the life has dissapeared. Do you understand what im trying to say to you now? If I told you I love you, I meant it with every breathe. If say I need you, I tell the truth. The black clouds are full of my pain, and my broken soul is all that I have left. So I will stare at my reflection through this shattered glass, and hide beneath the black clouds of my broken soul, The love still exists, and I wonder, What happened to the dream that we both could be living... ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~*~
* Characters *
	Mr Tall (Phill) Mr Persistant (Jason) Mr Not-Perfect (Ryan) Mr Short (Jon) Mr Identical (Daz)
* Previous Posts *
	Thought so... Is this how it's gunna be....? No going back... Bubbles & Birthdays 23 Two's company....? Relief Reassurance requested... New year, new happiness? 2008!!
* Dusty Archives *
	September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 December 2008 February 2009 September 2009 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 April 2011 May 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 January 2013 February 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 April 2014 June 2014
* Other Places I go... *
	Beyond Craft The Bare Bear Lair

* Hit Counter *

Can't take anymore...

0 Comments: