Act first, think later....

And I thought women were supposed to be the fragile, undecisive ones - messing the blokes around saying one thing and meaning another.

Last night I had an old friend round. Yes, before you ask - an old 'male' friend. The idea was we met up for some drinks, bit of xbox, some much needed catching up. It worked for a few hours, but a few drinks later, the giggling and tickling led to kissing.... and that, that led upstairs.... There's always been an attraction between us, so it really didn't suprise me where it ended up.

It was just how I remembered it, but better. I realised how much I'd missed him. He's not really someone I'd want to get into a deep and meaningful relationship with - he's 25 going on 15 still. But he's gorgeous, and sweet, and funny. He makes me laugh, and he's caring. I had a soft spot for him when we first met 4-5yrs ago, and that's never gone away.

But as we were laid there on the bed, his words of 'shiiiit...' which I was mistaking for an exclmation of enjoyment, I later found out it was a exclamation of regret. Well, kinda.

He told me then, that he wanted this time to be different to before. This time he wanted to be mates - proper mates. We had such a messed up past, sneaking around behind my then boyfriends back. My fault entirely I know. But it's a bit late telling me he wants to be 'just friends' right after, well, y'know.

So now I'm not sure where we stand. It's got all awkward. I just wish that if he'd just wanted to be mates, that he'd told me first. I wouldn't have flirted. Wouldn't have pulled him close as he leant over me..... wouldn't have....

He's rung me once already this morning to try to sort things out. I couldn't talk though as my uncle was round.

I guess we'll talk later tonight, see if we can resolve things....